jane_and.the_dragon
POETIC IRONY
I do not know what got into me at the funeral. The paster asked if anyone wanted to get up and tell any stories about my brother and I raised my hand. I was the first to speak and I told 3 very short stories. I told about my first year to school and how my brother would stand between me and the wind on cold days to try to keep me warm, and how he would carry me through the deep snows. The third story got a chuckle from his wife which made me feel good. I told about this kid that picked on me my first year to school. He was 3 years older then me. I told them my brother went to this kids house and told him what was going to happen to him if he did not leave his little sister alone. ( my mom told me he did that he never told me) I had more stories i could have told, but I was having all I could do to keep from crying. When I felt like I could no longer talk without crying I set down. Much to my surprise my other brother put out his hand to shake mine when I went back to my seat, and one of my sisters followed his example. When I sat down Robbies niece Lisa went up and spoke. I will be honest with you all I only heard part of what she said, because I had many memories running round in my head. Id I had been able to hold back the tears I would have told the story of the little snow man. I was about 2 or 3 years old I am not sure which, but it was the first time I could remember seeing snow. Robbie and Dorothy were out playing in in. They were making a snow man I had never seen one before. I wanted to go out and play with them, but mom thought I was too small and would not let me. Robbie saw me watching them making the snow man and he made a tiny snow man out of a couple snow balls and set it on the window ledge where I was watching. He told me it was my very own snow man. I have several more cute heart warming stories, but they are not all good memories. I asked my sister if she was proud of my that I told the stories did and not the ones I had been telling her for years of how he dissapointed me many times. She said yes. Fact is we were closer sense Thanksgiving that we had been in over 20 years. He made the attempt to mend the bridges between us and I went to meet him half way.
THE SKYS CRIED
The next week is going to be hard, but we will make it through my family draws together when there is a bad thing like this that happens. I think the hardest part of all is going to be either when I have to see him in the casket or at the grave side we are burring him in the family plot and I have not been there in a couple years. Mom, Dad,and Sally ann will be waiting for him. Hummmm maybe the sun came out because he got to see mom he missed seeing her before she died by like 5 min. If we had know he was that close we would have had them suction her 1 more time, but we did not know we were having trouble finding him that morning, and cell phones were not popular back then.
Just a thought if you all wanted to do something nice you could donate some money to the cancer hospital in Pittsburgh. They saved my nephew,and even though it will not help my brother, but it may help keep someone else from losing their brother later.
NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE
WHEN A TINY DEAL BECOMES NO DEAL AT ALL !
I have never seen anything like this before so I did not send that info. They did in fact cancel my order, but what is making me the maddest about this whole thing is MY CREDIT CARD APPROVED THE PURCHASE. IT WAS ALREADY BILLED TO MY ACCOUNT! So why the hell did they cancel the transaction??? The payment went through! They got their money! But I did not and apparently will not get my order. Then they tell me it could take 14 days for them to put the money back on my card. Why should I have to wait 14 days for then to give me my money back on an order they canceled against my wishes? TAKE MY ADVICE DO NOT ORDER ANYTHING FROM TINYDEAL CO,LTD. IT IS NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE. I found the same things they refused to send me even though I had paid for them on ebey, and will most likely order them from ebey.
Why is it?
Why is it so hard to let go of the
past? It has been over a year sense my net wourld was turned upside
down, and I have done a pretty good job making a new one. Problem
is i can not let go of the past. Tonight I was setting on my couch
playing breking bricks on my tablet and some strong memories from over a year
ago came rushing back. The memories concern a letter dn some stylest
that were sent to me January 2015. The letter said they love me, and
just a few months later I was told i was useless and thrown out like trash.
You would think after a year I would have forgotten those that hurt me
and moved on to a better life. Why is it my mind drifts back to the time
before i was hurt? Why is it i still miss someone that hurt me and
did not care enough about me to apologize for hurting me. Two
little words would go a long way to fixing my broken heart. The
words I'M SORRY and I would be able to forgive the wrong that was done
me. I got a call several months ago, and we talked for nearly 4
hours. I was told i was missed, but still I did not get an apology.
I would be lieing if i said I did not miss the good times. The
times when I felt loved and trusted. I may never get tht back from
the ones that shook my faith in what people say when they say they love
you. I will someday be happy again. The day may come
when i do not think of the pain i have felt or the loss. My problem
is part of me will never forget the good times we spent looking at pictures, ad
planning how to make what we wanted come true.
Sometimes I wish the human mind was like a
computer. Then I could just erase or delete the bad things in it
and keep the good ones. It sucks when you find yourself
longing for things of the past and crying for things you want and may never
get. It makes you wonder if they ever really cared or if they were
just using you until they got what they wanted. It could have all
been so wonderful if they had just kept their work always, and not just until
they got what they wanted. Why is it we do not do what is best for ourselves
even when we know what it is?